WARNING: Super massive spoilers below!!
Whelp. THAT’S done. I am a little surprised at the progression of episode two – that was almost anti-climactic, no? We at least get to feel some satisfaction after seasons of torment, and are promised some deliciously thick plot to come.
Here’s a recap of this week’s events.
Reek, Reek, it rhymes with sneak! Finally, we get a taste of what’s in store for Theon Greyjoy (aka, Reek). It’s not all about the disgusting torture and breaking of Theon, now it’s implied that he’ll not only have a plot, but that he wasn’t supposed to be mutilated in the first place! As a side note, I know it doesn’t have anything to do with progressing the story, but I do hope we get to hear him utter his signature rambling. Reek, reek, it rhymes with meek.
Roose Bolton arrives at the Dreadfort as well, along with a new bride. Guys, guys – remember the Freys?? Haha, LOL. Yeah, they gave him a fat wife in return for murdering some Starks. Between Ramsay and Roose, it’s determined for once and for all that the Stark boys are alive (well, two of three anyway) and they’re off to hunt them down!
Speaking of Bran, we meet up with him and his buddies near the Wall (I think??), shivering and already facing dire circumstances. Note that he’s spending more time inside his wolf’s head, which he is warned against. “If we lose you, we lose everything,” says Meera Reed. I’m sure we’ll learn what that means soon. Bran has an ominous vision that tells him simply that he needs to go “North.” Well, flipping great. Wasn’t that the goddamn plan all along?? (I happen to think Bran’s story line is incredibly boring in the books too.)
It’s about time we check in with Stannis and see how his plans to rule the empire are moving along. Nope, doesn’t seem to be much happening, beyond their super crazy lets-burn-people-at-the-stake-while-Davos-tries-to-guilt-trip-everyone. All we get is uncomfortableness with Lady Selyse (Stannis’s creepy wife) and some hinting at future manipulation of Stannis’s daughter. Not sure what they’re gonna do with that, but I’m hoping that the little girl is spared some of her parents’ crazy.
Jamie and Tyrion confer (with subtle premonitions of what’s to come, perhaps? “It’s only wine,” HAHA), and we get a suitable replacement trainer for Ilyn Payne. Recall that Wilko Johnson, who played the silent knight, stepped down from his role following a terminal cancer diagnosis (and we wish him all the best). Sure, it would have been great to see the ever witty Jamie verbally (and physically) spar with a mute, but I think the Bronn-Jamie dynamic will be enjoyable, nevertheless.
We welcome back Varys to season 4 with some of his signature gossip – Varys lets the cat out of the bag about Shae and what’s known about her. It’s a shame the way Tyrion handles this information, really. He chooses to try and protect her by being a massive jerk and shutting her out. I was honestly hoping that they stayed a little closer to the book, but the directors choose a very different form of emotional manipulation for the TV show. I guess we’ll see how that plays out.
Oh, hey, we get to find out where the rest of Ice went. King Ass-hat gets a new blade, and ruins a book. Got to hate him while we can, AMIRITE??
What happens next in King’s Landing completely surprised me – I knew it was coming, but somehow thought we wouldn’t see the royal wedding for at least another episode. Fine by me – the sooner we can get past this and start moving into some real plot, the better!
Obviously, the OMG moment here is that Joffrey doesn’t live through his own wedding day, the little twat. We get to spend one final episode hating him, and end with his face all bloodied and disgusting. I thought it fell a little flat, however. It was just kind of an anti-climactic end to a piece of shit we’ve spent 4 seasons (and 4 books) hating. At least in the book, he claws his own throat out trying to dig out the poison. The TV show made Joffrey a hundred times more hateable, obnoxious and eeeeevil than the books – I just felt that his demise didn’t quite match how they built him up.
Many other subtleties happen at this wedding – did you catch them all? Jamie sidling up to Ser Loras, and warning him about getting married. Cersei accusing Brienne of falling in love with Jamie (hey, everyone, what the EFF was that about??). Oberyn Martell’s brilliant cutting comments/accusations to Tywin and Cersei. Oh, and Tommen has conveniently resurfaced!
The pot is clearly stirred now. Did Tyrion actually poison Joffrey? What’s going to happen to Sansa? Oh, this season is gonna be good.